When a Friend is Being Negative

We’ve all been there…innocently warming up for class and a friend unleashes hatred; onto herself.

She’s looking in the mirror and starts to pick apart her body and appearance. She says her butt has grown since last season or her thighs are clearly bigger.

Is this fishing for compliments? Looking for validation? Perhaps. It’s totally possible she’s just looking for you to tell her she’s fine. Or that she looks the same or better or at least “good”.

It’s also possible that she’s hoping you’ll chime in with some self-loathing of your own. Maybe she’d feel better if you start talking about what has gotten “bigger” or “less toned” on your own body.

This situation is hard to navigate and it’s hard to know what the best way to respond might be. You can watch this video for some ideas, or if you prefer, read on!

Try sharing with your friend how you deal with your own body image insecurities.

For example, try saying, “instead of focusing on a perceived flaw, I try to think about how my body is serving me”. Share how your negativity makes you feel and how you cope with it. That might help her see how to flip things to a positive.

It might also help to let her know how you feel when surrounded by negativity. Let her know that those negative comments make you feel helpless and you’re unsure how to help her turn it around.

You want your friends to be able to talk to you when they’re going through hard times. You might encourage her to come to you for support rather than venting or getting lost in negativity.

This might be a friend you’ll end up needing some space from.

It’s hard to stay positive when you have a friend who’s constantly focused on what’s going wrong. It’s totally acceptable to take space from people who are making it hard for you to live your best life.

Maybe you can help your friend to see the positive. Ask her, “what’s something about your body or your dancing that you love?” Remind her that she’s not alone and that there are also plenty of positives to focus on.

Don’t internalize your friends negativity or project it onto yourself. Don’t compare your body to hers. This is a big one! If a friend is complaining about her body and you view her body as “ideal” it’s normal to get lost in comparison.

When those thoughts come up, put the focus on your gifts and encourage her to do the same. Come back to gratitude. Your body allows you to dance! When you take care of your body and mind, you’ll be able to show up more fully and do your best dancing.

Find the light. Find your positivity. Focus on what’s going well.

Remind yourself what’s going well with a gratitude list. Simply write down 3 things you’re grateful for and remember that you have a lot of good stuff going on in your life. Even in trying, uncertain times it’s possible to find something positive to focus on.

The only person whose approval you need is your own.

When you approve of yourself, your confidence will soar!

In Conclusion…

Everyone is on their own journey. Each of us has to learn life lessons on our own. As much as you might be focused on the positive side of life, you can’t force your friend to do the same. If you’re committed to growing and improving as a dancer, maintaining body positivity will be a game changer.

One of the biggest things dancers struggle with is confidence. If you can work towards body positivity and remind yourself about what’s going well, you’ll have the potential to grow your confidence exponentially. Don’t discount the value of seeing your own worth.

If you’re struggling to stay body positive, check out this post: How to Create a Positive Relationship with Food and Your Body

The post How to Stay Body Positive in Dance appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

When you rewrite your body story and work to believe the new story you’ve created, you’ll feel empowered. You’ll start to see that even if someone else has a preference that your body doesn’t happen to fit into, it’s OK. You can find a place that celebrates and supports your unique shape, movement quality, and love for dance–come on, that’s what it should be about!! Those are the dancers who shine.

More often than not, I take my dancer clients through the process of rewriting their body stories. The power in reframing the context of your experience is immeasurable. 

Kathryn Morgan’s recent share about her experience with body shame and criticism while dancing at Miami City Ballet, highlights the importance of taking back the power. You get to write your body story, no one else.

Where our “stories” come from…

Your body story started forming when you were quite young. For some, it begins as young as five or six years old as you notice the world around you. People say things, perceptions form. It might be hard to remember a body memory from that young of an age, in which case, your earliest memory is a good place to start.

I’ve often shared where my body image issues began (for full details on that, read more here). I was thirteen and had just returned from my first Summer Intensive away. My main teacher at my home studio tapped me on the thigh before class and declared, “that wasn’t there before.” From that moment on, I was pretty obsessed with diets and always thought I should be smaller. I thought losing weight was imperative to becoming the best dancer I could be.

So think back…what’s the earliest memory you can remember that started to shape your perception of yourself or what a body in dance should be? Write it down. From there, think about all the comments you heard over the years. Write down all the comments you remember whether they were directed towards you or a group.

It can be painful to recount all the experiences you’ve had that made you feel badly about your body, but facing them is going to help you move on and rewrite your story.

Gathering evidence to back them up.

From those first body feedback experiences, you start to gather evidence to back up that negative perception you’ve created. So when you don’t do well in an audition you’ll revert to the thought, “it’s because of my thighs, just like Nadia said.” 

You start to use each bad audition or casting experience as evidence that your body is not good, too big, or just not right for dance. When you stay in that mindset, you won’t be able to support yourself with positivity, optimism, and possibility.

What’s worse: when you get positive feedback you’ll find a way to discount it. 

Research shows that we have a built in “negativity bias.” It’s much easier to focus on and remember negative experiences than positive ones. This is why rewriting your story to focus on all the good is essential. Even more important: you need to give yourself reminders throughout the day that there’s lots of good potential and positive things to focus on.

Rewrite your story.

Think about all the positive feedback you’ve received over the years. Just like you did with the negative, try to remember your earliest memories. Were you good at staying in line as one of those party kids in the Nutcracker? Did a teacher compliment you on your tendus when you were 8?

In addition to the actual positive comments, write down memories of teachers who were particularly encouraging, positive, and supportive. Who saw your potential and made you feel like you could succeed and achieve your dance goals? Go into as much detail around these memories as you can.

Once you’ve compiled all your positive memories, bring in some imagination and creativity. Go back to your experiences as a young dancer and rewrite them in your memory with only the good. Erase the negative experiences from the paper and your memory. What would it have looked like if you only had positive, supportive experiences? How would you feel? Would your approach to auditions, company class, and casting be different?

Keep coming back to your new body story.

Since we’re hardwired for negativity, you’ll have to come back to your new, positive body story each and every day. Maybe you read it every morning or take it with you in a journal when you go to auditions. 

Confirm for yourself–the positive is your truth. You get to choose what you believe. Believe the good, and trust the people who encouraged you along the way. The naysayers are usually projecting their own pain and negativity onto you anyway. Forgive them and let them go–their pain is not your responsibility.

What if you don’t rewrite your story and take the negative feedback as fact?

This is when people quit, burn out, or lose their passion for dance. It’s why my career ended in my late 20’s instead of continuing until I was truly ready to say goodbye to ballet. 

The body negativity will tear you down if you let it—it might take months or years, depending on the situation.

Rewrite your story so you can see all the good you have to offer as a dancer, an artist, a human.

Interested in working with me to reach your body goals, find unshakeable body confidence, and rewrite your body story for good? Apply for Elite Best Body Coaching.

The post Rewrite Your Body Story appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

of X Contemporary Dance

Caitlin Elledge started X Contemporary Dance after struggling through her professional pursuits in ballet. The dance world tore her down but she got back up in a big way. Elledge now employs dancer’s of all shapes and sizes and celebrates them for their uniqueness. Every body can dance.

Share about your story in dance:

I grew up jumping from studio to studio in Southern Mississippi. At around age 3, I started dance because all 4 of my siblings were dancers (as well as my mother, aunt, grandmother, and great-grandmother). Dance runs in the family!

My main training was under the direction of Henry Danton (Royal Ballet/Sadler’s Wells), and Yvonne Bergeron (New Orleans Ballet), both of whom were very strict Vaganova instructors. I was very lucky and had the opportunity to travel to London for a week to train, as well as take master classes around the southern US from amazing teachers. 

As I got older, my passion grew, and so did I…

I ended up developing body dysmorphia and a binge eating disorder at the age of 12, but somehow continued on until age 16, which was when I was accepted into the Professional Training Division at Nashville Ballet.

My time at Nashville Ballet had its ups and downs, but was overall the greatest thing for my career. After 2 years in PTD, I was accepted into the Second Company (NB2), as well as Cincinnati Ballet 2, and a scholarship to both summer intensives. 

I was 18 at the time, and thought I had all I could want. I was moving up in a company, had performed amazing roles while in PTD, etc. Unfortunately, my time in NB2 was cut short due to undiagnosed Bipolar 2, depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. 

I started coming home from dance with more and more leftover food until I just stopped packing lunch altogether. If one thing went wrong in class, I would completely unravel. I experienced dissociation almost constantly, and didn’t know how to cope with it. 

I left NB2 halfway through my first season and could no longer see a future in dance.

After all that had happened, I decided to take a year to focus on myself. I took class when I could, choreographed pieces to perform at a few studios back home, and even had the opportunity to choreograph for VUPointe Ballet at Vanderbilt University. 

Things were looking up, but I still had this idea that I wasn’t good enough, regardless of how hard I worked. In the fall of 2018, I was hospitalized for attempted suicide and finally got the help I needed. 

Dance came back naturally after the hospital, and my desire for it completely changed. I joined Blue Moves Modern Dance, continued freelance work, and began teaching regularly.

Now it’s 2020, and I have my own dance company. I never thought I would say that, I still struggle with my body image, but I think this new body suits me much better and I am stronger than I ever was before. My dance story is just beginning, and I hope it never ends.

What inspired you to start X-Contemporary Dance?

I just felt like I always needed a space to just dance and be safe, and I wanted that for other people. I was tired of not feeling good enough and being told I wasn’t enough, and it was painful for me to see my beautiful friends go through the same thing.

What kind of dancer’s do you hire?

I hire all types of dancers as long as they have solid technique. Any height, body type, race, or gender. I also really love artistry! Being expressive is the most important thing to me, and I’m happy to say that all of the artists in XCD have amazing expression in their movement. 

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing dancers do the same choreography in their own personality. It’s like looking at a sky full of fireworks- they all do the same thing, but not a single one looks the same!

What conversations do you hope to open up in the dance world? How?

There are quite a few conversations I would LOVE to open up in the dance world:

1. That every BODY can dance and that it’s okay to be different. I believe XCD definitely shows that, especially in the work we’re creating.

2. Mental health and physical health go hand-in-hand. It’s okay to talk about what you’re going through, and it’s okay if you need a break. The dynamic in XCD is different than any other company, and I hope others will learn from that. If you allow dancers to rest, better work is created. If you allow dancers to be themselves and make an environment that is free from competition, better work is created.

3. BODY SHAMING, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SEXISM, AND RACISM ARE REAL IN THE DANCE WORLD AND NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED! I cannot shout that any louder to the rooftops. This is something that HAS to change, and I will not rest until it has.

What has been the most surprising part of running a company?

The most surprising part of running a company is how natural it feels. I love the dancers so much and am so happy to walk into that studio and create on them. It feels like something that I was always meant to do, and I am so incredibly happy to be alive, healthy, and able to do it.

Anything else you’d like to share:

I have been wrong my entire life. Dance is so much more than bodies. It is so much more than perfecting technique. So much more than trying to impress others and constantly trying to get ahead. 

It’s beauty and strength in its rawest form…color and texture, sound and movement…explosive and powerful and overall incredible. Not one individual person is the same, and the art form accentuates that in the most beautiful way possible.

Learn more about X-Contemporary Dance and Donate here.

Photo Credits (in order of appearance):

Caitlin Elledge by Martin O’Connor Photography

Caitlin Elledge by Alicia Hernandez (C.C.Images)

Justin Savage

Marie Williams by Christina Joy Fideler (photographer)

Layne Porter by Martin O’Connor Photography

The post A company for every BODY… appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

Recently I came across a post by a dancer who talked about all the “father figures” she came across in dance and her desire to please them and gain their love and approval. I can relate to that. I lost my father at a young age, I had closer relationships with men in ballet than anywhere else.

Dance is a people pleasing art. You’re concerned with looking good and living up to the standards expected by your teachers. That goal becomes ingrained early, it’s challenging to shake.

As a child as young as 7 or 8 the aim in class is often to perform and show our teacher’s we’re listening…obedient.

The discipline of dance isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, the authoritative stance and mean, critical approach some teacher’s take really breaks down your sense of self. It makes it hard for you to find authentic joy and confidence in dance.

When body comments and criticisms start at a similarly young and vulnerable age, you’re set up for what can be a lifetime struggle to accept your body and abilities.

In all of this, it’s easy to get pulled away from what should be your focus – improving your technique and artistry AND enjoying your dance pursuits.

It all becomes about earning a teacher’s love and approval. Which in reality, you don’t need to succeed. Being the teacher’s pet alone does not guarantee a job after your training.

The most loved student doesn’t necessarily go the furthest, BUT if you let the lack of love and admiration from your teacher impact your confidence it can be a big factor.

In order to stay positive in your pursuit, you can’t make it about pleasing every teacher or Artistic Director you come across. It can’t be about gaining their love.

To find success in dance you need to love yourself. With the ups and downs and challenges you might face, you’ve got to be your biggest supporter.

Usually, the love of your teacher or Artistic Director is conditional. It might be given or taken away based on your weight. Or it could be dependent on your placing at a competition or receiving a scholarship. If you’re coming back from injury they might be less supportive.

The only unconditional love you can count on is from yourself (if you work to get there). And one of the big benefits of working towards unconditional self-love is that it’s going to support you in dance and beyond.

When you release self-judgement but instead support yourself towards your goals, you’ll dance better, freer and with more joy.

The joy can radiate off of you and that’s what will get you hired! Check out this recent chat I had with dance photographer Rachel Neville. We discussed the importance of finding inner peace and confidence and how your body language speaks volumes:

Photo on Visualhunt.com

The post You don’t need your dance teachers love… appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

Show up with Confidence + Get Noticed

When you head off to intensive, whether it’s your first or your fifth, it’s a valuable time to make contacts for your future career aspirations. If you’re headed to intensive with the goal of a traineeship or spot in the year round program the stakes are even higher.

To ensure that you make a positive impression you’ve got to go in prepared from day 1. This means being both physically and mentally prepared.

Physical Preparation

Your cross training and technical training plan need to be set up to get you ready for the intensity of intensive. Even if you’re not injured, you might seek out a physical therapist for some support in training your weaknesses. If you’re prone to ankle sprains for example, a physical therapist can provide a plan to strengthen your ankles to avoid injury.

Compare the number of hours of dance you’ll face at intensive to your current regimen. Find ways to build up towards the number of hours at intensive. Rather than trying to match it now, just look into adding 30 minutes to an hour each day until you’re closer to the summer intensive schedule.

This physical preparation can go a long way and will support you more than going from 0 to 60 in a short period of time.

Mental Preparation

Knowing you’re prepared physically can support your mental state and confidence. Being assured in what you can do in the studio is going to allow you to dance more freely.

To further support your mentality for intensive, give yourself some positive mantras to repeat both before and during class. Stress your abilities, talents and capabilities.

“What you envision in your mind, how you see yourself, and how you envision the world around you is of great importance because those things become your focus.” Ed Mylett

If you find yourself judging the other dancer’s in your class, it likely means you’re judging yourself quite harshly as well. Start to think of positive attributes for your peers. What are they doing well? Start to see the positives in those around you and it will be easier to see the positive in yourself.

Dress for Success

Only bring leotards with you this summer that make you feel amazing and beautiful. Silly as it sounds what you wear can have a big impact on how you show up! If you have to bring some that you don’t love, at least save the best tights and leotard for placement class.

You want to look at placement class as another audition (with less pressure). Don’t forget – you already got in so the stakes are not that high but it’s important to go all out for your placement class.

However, if placement class doesn’t go as well as you’d hoped all is not lost. If you end up in a lower level than you think you belong, look at it as an opportunity to work your hardest and really stand out. It might give you the chance to really shine and possibly get a soloist role in the end of summer performance. Or, maybe you’ll be moved up in levels later – both are possible.

Make Connections

Dancer’s aren’t typically trained to network but it can be as valuable in dance as it is in business. Do your best to help teacher’s remember your name – volunteer to demonstrate a combination, be will to answer questions, be willing to go first.

Whichever teacher you feel most comfortable with, look for ways to engage them in conversation around your development and potential. Maybe ask a specific question about a combination or variation after class. Of course, only do this if the teacher has time and isn’t running off to teach another class.

If you’re hoping to stay year round or get a trainee spot, try to schedule a conversation with one of the people who makes that decision. You might keep this til the end of the 1st or 2nd week, not the end, that way if you need to step things up you’ll have time.

Express your great interest in staying for the year. Ask how they feel you’ve been doing so far and finally inquire as to what they see as your areas for growth. A mature conversation like this is not always easy but it’s important to practice using your voice! It will serve you in your professional career and beyond.

Be Present in Every Class 

Summer intensives can feel long. You might be there for 6 weeks and that’s a long, intense time to stay fully present. Do your best to stay energetic and engaged in each and every class you take – even the “fun” classes like hip-hop and modern.

You never know who might be paying attention to your work ethic and energy even in your non-ballet classes.

In your ballet classes, take each and every correction as though it’s your own. If a teacher is having one dancer try a new approach to something, you should be actively trying that new approach as well.

And don’t forget – don’t mark arms!! Ever!

Looking for more ways to prep for intensive? Grab your FREE summer intensive diary or sign up for the FREE online summer intensive success workshop!

The post Summer Intensive Prep Part II : Getting Noticed appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

Dawn Smith-Theodor (DS-T) : 

My mom had a dancing school in Ohio so I danced before I was born. I moved to New York and danced for Henry Letang who at the time was doing a bunch of broadway shows.  And then I ended up going to Japan and performing at The Mikado Theater, I’ve danced at Carnegie Hall, and at the Sydney Olympics. After dancing professionally I opened my dance school in Los Angeles and ran it for 25 years. I still do a master class series around the country with a friend of mine.

JS : What inspired you to start working with dancers with eating disorders?

DS-T:

I started working at a treatment center for eating disorders as an intern through my Masters Program. I had actually wanted to work with AIDS patients because my partner died of AIDS and it was very new. But I ended up working at this eating disorder treatment center.

I had an eating disorder as a teen into my twenties and nobody knew what eating disorders were or how to treat them. I was finishing my own treatment myself. I went through years of therapy but I had never really been with other people working through eating disorders.

I led a group where I used to dance with the clients and everyone had a different reaction. There would be a group after where we’d talk about how to be with the mirror.

When I decided to write my book, there was really nothing out there on dancers with eating disorders, so I felt like it was a much needed area. I do a lot of speaking – at Steps (on Broadway), Dance Theatre of Harlem, Boston Conservatory, Hollywood Connection. I try to get the word out as much as possible to educate parents, teachers, and then dancers.

JS : What made you want to write the book?

DS-T:

Because there was really nothing out there. I wanted to share my knowledge. It was written for kids 12-22 and there’s a section for the parents. From the dance perspective I wanted to share my knowledge. I’m recovered from an eating disorder, I’m a dancer, I’ve owned a dance studio, I’m a therapist who treats eating disorders so I felt like I had it covered from all perspectives.

JS : What would you say to people who try to say there isn’t a great prevalence of eating disorders in dance?

DS-T:

It’s simple not true. One out of every 5 dancers has an eating disorder whereas one out of every 100 people has an eating disorder. My information has not always been welcomed in the dance community. Some dance conventions and competitions aren’t open to it. It’s very sad, the dance world doesn’t really want to view it as a problem.

JS : What advice do you give to parents?

DS-T:

I ask parents to let the student enjoy dance for what it is and not be a stage parent. And also to be aware of the warning signs for eating disorders so they aren’t just thinking that, oh my daughter looks better in a tutu. I’ve had situations like that where in treating dancers, the parents weren’t really aware that something was said to their daughter like, you would look so much better if you lost a few pounds and then the girl went on a serious diet.

People see that as, oh she’s so determined but you have to know where the line is where it’s problematic. I always tell parents, if you have a concern, be curious and empathetic. Ask questions but from a perspective of I’ve noticed this or I’m concerned because I saw this, is everything OK, because you’re going to get a lot farther that way.

JS : And what about for dance teachers, what do you tell them as far as approaching food and dancer health?

DS-T:

I tell dance teachers, don’t talk about food and weight! Don’t weigh your students or put a focus on the size of the body because some kids aren’t going to be professional dancers. I also think in the dance world, there’s a place for everybody if they want to dance and not to discourage kids.

I had 2, 10 year old students who went off to ABT’s young students program. One had the “perfect body” but was less advanced and she was put in a higher level than the more advanced student. My more advanced student came back and said I don’t think I’m going to make it in the ballet world because I don’t think I have the right body.

So, I really think if a student has potential as far as talent – try to develop that and focus on that, not the size of their body.

JS : I think you’re so right that there’s a place to dance for those who want to.

I’ve seen it come up in different forums and there’s always the person who says, “These are the realities of the dance world and if you want to dance you have to look this way” but I’m very much in the same camp as you that it’s a matter of finding the place that accepts you as you are at your healthiest, not your thinnest.

DS-T:

Yea, instead of conforming to what they want or shaping yourself into something other people want. I’m such a believer in following your passion and being able to enjoy dance. The competition world has just turned dance into something it’s not supposed to be. It’s all about winning the trophy instead of enjoyment.

It’s raised the bar really high but is it an art form or is it just like gymnastics and scoring points?

JS : What do you tell dancers?

DS-T:

To balance their life. You have to have a life outside of dance. You can love dance but you also need to have friends and other interests because it’s going to make you a healthier dancer all around. To be able to go to the movies or take your dog for a walk and leave the dance studio and practice behind.

In my book I also talk about balance as a professional dancer and being on tour and being able to do other things besides dance it’s really important.

JS: I think we’re very aligned – it’s so important to have many voices echoing these messages.

DS-T:

It’s so important and I feel like dancers need as many resources as possible. I feel so blessed to have been in the dance world my whole life and to continue to work in the dance field. Not only teaching but spreading the word on being a healthy dancer and that it is possible. Recovery from an eating disorder is also completely possible – I’m living proof.

I work with dancers every day and I want to hold the light. 

Dawn Smith-Theodore, LMFT is a specialist in the treatment of eating disorders. Dawn has a private practice in Agoura Hills and Westwood, CA. For more about Dawn, CLICK HERE and to purchase her book Tutu Thin, A Guide to Dancing without an Eating Disorder, CLICK HERE.

The post Interview with Tutu Thin author Dawn Smith-Theodor appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

When I turned 9, my dance teacher asked me if I wanted to do something more professional and audition for a ballet academy. Dancing was all I wanted to do so I answered yes. My parents allowed me to take my own decisions and they supported me and my choices.

At age 10 I auditioned for La Scala in Milan and got rejected. It left me very upset, but I decided to try for another professional dance school and I got in. I moved away from home and started studying every day and I slowly found out how much discipline and hard work are required to make it as a dancer.

Two years later I moved to another dance studio that offered me the possibility to take certified ballet exams, do competitions and audition for bigger dance academies as well. I recently auditioned for the American Ballet Theatre JKO School and received a full one-year scholarship so, next fall I’ll be moving to New York and start a new exciting journey there.

Reading what I wrote above, it seems like I had to do nothing except for taking ballet classes every day to get where I am now. It wasn’t like that at all! I had to overcome many obstacles! When I moved away from home at 10 I went to live in the dormitory of the ballet school and I was the youngest girl there.

I was always alone and I slowly fell down into depression. At age 11 I developed a serious eating disorder but nobody really noticed how bad I was feeling and, if they noticed, they preferred to stay out of it. I was lying to my parents because I didn’t want to worry them but they understood that something was wrong and they brought me home.

I wasn’t allowed to dance or do any sort of physical activity form months and I was seeking help from a psychologist to get out of my eating disorder. It has been very hard, both for me and my parents. Once I started feeling better I immediately asked to go back to dance classes, I was missing ballet too much!

When I started dancing again, even if I wasn’t physically recovered, I began smiling and I rediscovered my positivity and strength. It took me around two years to fully recover from depression and anorexia, but now I look back and see how much I have grown and I am proud of myself.

When I moved to my current dance studio I started focusing a lot on improving my dance technique rather than spending time looking in the mirror to mentally measure my body and feel bad about it. This was the major turning point in my dance journey.

I was also surrounded by many friends and thanks to that I re-found my true passion for ballet and a tiny bit of self-esteem. I turned my goal from being the skinniest possible to becoming the best dancer I could be and with this idea in mind, I got where I am now and I can’t wait to see what life brings to me.

Finding out how far I can go by simply pushing myself out of my comfort zone is what inspires me to dance. I want to achieve as much as I can and share it through my dancing. Outside of dance, I just try to always be the nest version of myself, to be kind to myself and others, to be polite, to follow my heart and to make as much experience as I can.

I am a very curious person and I always want to try new things. Mental health is essential for me and to take care of it I try to treat myself as if I was my best friend. I try to reduce negative self-talk (I said reduce because I admit I sometimes judge myself), I try to stay surrounded by people I love and admire, I spend time alone because it helps me to reconnect with myself and I do things that I really enjoy outside of dance (journaling, reading, writing, taking pictures…).

When I feel down I usually listen to music or I find some motivational speakers videos, I talk about my fears with my mom and I just remind myself my goals. It’s impossible to feel positive 100% of the times: I accept it and move forward.

I have many people I consider mentors. My parents are my number 1 mentors, then the psychologist who helped me to get out of depression, one of my previous dance teacher who doesn’t teach me anymore but still helps me whenever I need support and all the people in The Whole Dancer Facebook Community.

Whenever I have a problem I write there and so many sweet people reply giving advice and sending their love. It’s a wonderful community!

Have a clear goal in mind and do everything you can to reach it. Don’t give up: there will always be haters and hard times. Ask for help when you need it and enjoy the journey.

The post Alessia – from Depression to JKO appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

by Leah Brandstetter, The Whole Dancer Intern

Aspiring professional dancers go through a lot of training–technique classes, variations, pointe, pas de deux, conditioning, pilates, contemporary, private lessons/coaching, summer intensives…all to become a better dancer.

The idea is that a young student focuses on technique and will cross train in order to develop more strength, stamina, and flexibility. Basically, a dancer is expected to do anything they can to attain the next level.

This is all well and good. Cross training has been shown to help prevent injury and even help a dancer to reach that next level. But, there is one aspect that is often missed throughout the training and education of a dancer.

There is a lack of nutrition education for dancers–especially those who are students. Unfortunately, a typical P.E. course in school or a nutrition magazine will not provide a dancer with the proper information. Despite being an art form, dance is highly physical and dancers require a good deal of athleticism. Therefore, a typical “diet plan” or basic nutrition course is not enough information for a dancer.

On the other hand, dance is still an art form, and the medium is the body. There is a specific form that dancers are expected to maintain. A typical nutritionist has information for a “normal” person and that won’t work for a dancer. Nor will a sports nutritionist be able to be of much assistance as they do not necessarily deal with the specifics of body form that dancers require.

In other words, dancers require a specialized nutrition education that just does not really exist. That’s part of where Jess is trying to innovate what’s offered with her programs available through The Whole Dancer.

There is yet another problem…

Being a dancer requires a certain amount of perfectionist attitude. I mean, really, how many people would be able to consistently work on the same exercises/steps/choreography over, and over again until they got it right unless they were perfectionists? –Not many.

In my personal experience–and most others personal experience–aspiring dancers and professional dancers tend to have a type A, perfectionist personality. This can be a good thing, but can also get you in a lot of trouble.

Imagine this scenario:

You had a bad day. Nothing in class seemed to go right. You kept falling out of your pirouettes, you couldn’t hold a balance, your jumps were lackadaisical, not to mention your brain just didn’t wrap around the new choreo in rehearsals.

So what do you do? There is too much to focus on, too much to fix all at once, so you start to criticize yourself in the mirror. All of a sudden you wonder why you ever decided to buy this leotard, you slip a skirt on, ugh…that just made it worse.

Another dancer comes along, she is a bit taller than you with willowy proportions, long arms, legs, beautiful arches, and soo thin. All you want to do now is hide in a corner. You feel worthless.

This might be a bit of an extreme–but unfortunately, this is how many dancers begin to feel. Everything becomes out of control so to speak, and yet, many dancers begin to abuse the one thing that they can control-food. And with all the false information and fad diets out there, that isn’t a very hard trap to fall into–instead, it is very, very easy and very, very dangerous.

Without proper nutrition education, dancers are left to fend for themselves. As you can see, dancers already have a lot on their plate (or not enough if you catch my drift) and they shouldn’t be left to seek out everything regarding health on their own.

Yes, your health is your responsibility, but this is another reason you have teachers and mentors–people who went before you and know what you can do to avoid the pitfalls of ill health.

In other words, more teachers and Artistic Directors need to step up to provide dancers with the true information that they need. All dancers have gone to the summer intensive where they get a 30 minute presentation on nutrition–this is not enough. Dancers need more, they deserve it.

How can dancer’s educate themselves and support their dancing with nutrition?

Start now, if you are a student, talk with your teachers about learning more about nutrition specifically for a dancer. See what they think. More and more resources are becoming available for help.

The Whole Dancer or IADMS are wonderful resources. More and more dancers are becoming interested in health as well, it is worth it to see what they have found works for them.

If you are a dancer in a company it might be a bit harder, but don’t give up. Seek out the right information, not quick fixes. If anything promises a speedy weight loss, or encourages a restrictive diet, or maybe a “cleanse” don’t do it. Instead, look for resources that you would be able to keep up for the long term–in other words, lifestyle changes.

Change starts first with you. Don’t encourage ill health by falling into those diet traps. Share good resources with fellow dancers and work so that the next generation of dancers will not have to fend for themselves.

Did you miss part I on how poor diet leads to injury?? Check it out here

Photo credit: runwaypilates on VisualHunt / CC BY
Photo credit: gabrielsaldana on VisualHunt.com / CC BY-SA

The post The Missing Link in a Dancer’s Training – Dancer Health Study Part II appeared first on The Whole Dancer.

The time leading up to a performance is a critical opportunity to condition yourself for success. It’s surprising that more ballet companies and schools don’t focus more on the mental components of a good performance. However, they’ve already got technique, artistry, and musicality to worry about!

Dancer’s should use the same mental preparation for performance as athlete’s do for competition or training.

According to the Ohio Center for Sports Psychology – the following are required for you to reach your best possible performance.

1. Choose and maintain positive attitudes.

In dance companies and schools, there are usually some who default to more negative attitudes. This is natural for some people but it’s important to stay away from it. Staying positive even in the times when you’re not cast how you’d like or when you’re not getting the attention you desire (more on that in #2) is essential for performance.

Your mind is powerful. If you stay stuck in all that you’re unhappy with, it will drag you down and lead to poor performance. Keep your head up and surround yourself with positive people in order to move forward consistently.

2. High level of self – motivation.

Dancer’s easily fall into a head space where we need validation from teachers. This happens naturally as students – you’re young and you’re looking for approval. However, once you’re dancing professionally you easily see that it’s up to you to maintain your technique and push yourself to work.

It varies from company to company but at the professional level, artistic staff is much more hands off than when you’re a student. They expect you to bring your A – game and push through without their constant singing of praises. This is where self – motivation is essential.

3. Set high, realistic goals.

Goal setting is something you’ve heard about at The Whole Dancer since it’s start. It is SO important and it shocks me that it’s not a bigger part of dancer training! You’ve got set the next big goal to reach the next level. Goal setting is a big part of both The Whole Dancer Program and The Dancer’s Best Body Program because that’s the only way to facilitate change!

4. Deal effectively with people.

Whether you’re dancing in the corps de ballet or as a soloist or principal dancer, you’ve got to be able to deal with those around you. It’s more obvious as a corps dancer – you’ve got to be able to communicate with your fellow dancers to create a cohesive and uniform look as a group. That’s no easy feat!

When you’re dancing solo, you might think there’s no necessity to deal with people. To the contrary, you’ve got to have a clear communication style so that you’re able to work with whomever comes in to coach you. Openness and vulnerability is required as a soloist.

5. Use positive self – talk.

This is another focus of the programs from The Whole Dancer. When that little voice in your head is constantly dragging you down, how do you think your body is going to react?

When you’re able to focus on the positive, see what is working and lift yourself up through the struggle you’re going to find much greater success than if you feed into your inner critic.

6. Employ positive mental imagery.

Visualize. Visualize. Visualize. Imagine the positive outcome you’d like. See the perfect double pirouette’s you’re capable of before you even start dancing.

There was a particular section of the ballet Beauty and the Beast where I danced as an angel with a series of 3 pirouette’s that I just always saw myself falling out of. You know what happened? I fell out of it each and every time. I truly wish I could go back and visualize the positive outcome! Let me know how this works for you!

7. Manage nerves and anxiety effectively.

Whether you do some breathing exercises, journal out the jitters, or give yourself a pep talk – you’ve got to find a way to move through the anxiety.

8. Manage emotions effectively.

When you get to the studio, turn everything else off. This will be good practice for managing emotions when you need to perform onstage. Let your time dancing be the time to release any stress you’re feeling. If you can’t shut them off, channel then into your performance and let it elevate what you bring to the stage (or the studio)!

9. Maintain concentration.

Find your focus. Audiences are great, but you’ve got to be able to mostly tune them out and focus in on the dancing. If you’re dancing in the corps de ballet, use your fellow dancers to stay engaged in your character. Dancer’s have the added benefit of music to help facilitate concentration so use it! Allow the music and musicality of the choreography keep you honed in on what you plan to accomplish.

Want more on this topic? Check out The Whole Dancer Podcast episode on the needed mental preparation for performance.

The post Mental Preparation for Performance appeared first on The Whole Dancer.