Peach,
I was once in a situation similar to yours. Old fashioned boss, taking credit for my work, was once a supporter, then saw me as a threat and was holding me back. I thank God that 2 respected senior management folks saw what was going on and took me under their wing and got me promoted. The one gentleman is gone now, but the other is still around, and I thank him every chance I get. And I try to pass on the blessing I received in their honor.
Remember, bad managers can teach us important lessons, too.
Good luck.
Mike.. I can't express to you enough how much I need to hear this tonight. It's just so nice to know, that there is someone out there that just gets it. I'm very happy that you found a way out. I have 26 years under my belt and a pretty flawless work history to go along with it and this man has now started showing up at my meetings, taking them over. That is just the light side of it. I have worked in male dominated industries my entire career and never once thought a thing of it. Enjoyed it. Learned. Learned from some good men. Been challenged. I have showed up at supplier facilities in my younger day where the plant manager would not even address me directly. I've reminded many of them of their daughters. But never once, have I ever been accused of being "emotional" at work. I don't even like to talk about this topic, but I'd be foolish not to acknowledge the differences. There are differences. As a woman, there is one thing I learned very early on in my career. Stoic. Stone-faced. Even keeled. Level-headed. Work is no place for emotion. It was difficult when I was younger. I was high spirited and took no REDACTED in my younger day lol.. I spent maybe a year at my first company, 10 years at my second, 4 at my third and was a QE for about 4 years for this company before I switched to the supplier side. My 12-year anniversary was last week. I have one thing in common through all of them. I would have never had the opportunity for upward mobility in any of them. I have grown and learned until I couldn't anymore, and I moved on. Something has changed the past year for me.. and that is that I feel ready. I just don't know how to describe it, but I notice now, that I have a lot of experience. Also, we had a new guy join our team and I noticed that I have a lot to offer. I mean, not to this young guy.. ha.. he knows everything already. hehe.. BUT.. I can drop him just.. nuggets.. gold nuggs. Even though he's him, it's still made me want to be somewhere, where I can share my knowledge. I want to be somewhere, where I can try out things the way I want do try them and help others grow!!
I lost my dog in October.. not just a dog.. my son.. he was 12 and the center of my world for that time.. my absolute best friend. Yes, I was devastated. My saving grace was burying my head so deep in work, I couldn't think of anything else. I mean, I automated metrics, documented about 6 processes, you name it.. but you know what I wasn't? Emotional at work. Didn't stop him though from trying to sit me down to try to get control of me again by insinuating that I was mentally compromised. He didn't even know how long it had been since my dog died, it was just all he had.. it was 4 months later!! No examples to provide of how I was "different", no examples to provide of anything.. even our conversation was only us.. he said that I was "forgetful" but couldn't give one example of anything I had forgotten. I could tell he didn't even believe himself when he was telling me this... evidently after 10 years of having his back.. absolute loyalty.. and nothing ever, ever, ever being an issue.. the only thing he cared about was that I stopped working on improving processes and he actually went that low to try to manipulate me into believing that I needed to. When I sit down and actually think about it.. he's been in my way for a long, long time. That's my fault. But the depths that he has went and the person he has been over the past year now, that's on him. Mike.. a year ago.. I would have probably taken a bullet for him. He was not the best boss I had ever had, his first management role, but.. I thought he set a high bar (at least thought he did) and I like that. He is also a very hard worker. I worked my ass off for him. When he got this job, he was a customer and came over to the supplier side from a large OEM. About 2 years prior, I did the same thing. Many times, we passed each other in this company's plant while we were both visiting customers. When he got this job, I was beatin feet around the plant one day and I noticed him trying to catch up.. he did, and asked if he could talk to me. Well, if you know plant life, I responded, I don't know can you walk!! lol.. so here we are, beatin feet through the plant, I was on my morning rounds.. and all of a sudden, he asked me if I would come to work with him. I was completely caught off guard. I was happy so my response was a lighthearted, awww.. I'm not moving, yada yada. About three months later I found myself in the position of needing to move back home to save my house. I went to talk to him, asked if there was any possibility that I could work from PA, home. He said, wasn't likely. About 10 minutes later, he came and got me, took me to the conference room and offered me a job. We shook hands over a post it note within the next 10 minutes. I had worked hard and gained respect from the big boss.. the one that brought him on. When I say we worked together and I was his right-hand girl that's what it was.. for the past 10 years. The thing that bothers me the most, Mike.. is... has he always been this "person".. OR.. did I just not see it?? Sometimes, when the veil lifts there is an ugly truth underneath! Did he change? Have you ever heard that saying, if you want to really know who someone is, watch how they treat people at their highest. When he thought that he was getting that job, he became one of the ugliest people I've ever known. How did I not see it working so closely with this person for that long? I previously regarded myself as a fairly decent judge of character! What a joke. Since all of this has happened, I've also gotten other people's take on him which has been even more shocking. I had it in my head that everyone loved him. That he went to the plant and helped make things better for people, that he was very good at his job and well respected! Keep in mind, we maybe were able to work together, around others maybe once a year. Ego, micro-managing, demanding, unwilling to play well in the sandbox with others, I mean.. ugh.. it's going to take me awhile to build my trust up in myself again. Rookie moves! I really hope that wherever I end up next, that it's around people that find happiness in others successes. I find more joy in watching someone else win than I do myself. I would much rather all win together. My team, 3 guys.. that have all, very clearly, for whatever reason, decided now, to not just.. not like me, but also treat me how they see Chris treat me. I have been a very good person to all of them. I'd like to pretend that it doesn't hurt and that I didn't spend three evenings last week crying in dark corners in the middle of the night. But, it downright hurts.
On that note, and a book later, please wish me luck! I guess sometimes it is easier talking to a stranger
